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A Mr. M. Ross inspired me to do a different kind of post today, I found his ramblings on on his blog which is quite insightful and I will link to it at the end in-case you're severely challenged and did't see the link or know it already cause it's good. Probably should have used a period back there... Oh well i'm too lazy to use the mousepad so I'll keep going. I did this post cause of the whole "blog what you're thinking about when you're inebriated thing",, not trying to one-up his store like scumbag steve I just know dat feel. I already lost probably like 7 good ideas, and I exaggerate by about 2.

I'm thinking about this now and it may be a day in the life kind of post...

Ok, so my sister has really been pushing sushi these last few days so I gave in and we tried Ye's Sushi at sportsworld crossing. I woke up at like 12 and we got there at about 1, Cause of these stupid late nights I wake up late and lunchtime for normal people is like my dinner and I was not feeling sushi breakfast ughhh... Well I did my best to get my moneys worth and scarf down a bunch of raw fish and deep fried shit and it was good I just would have enjoyed it a lot more if i wasn't craving normal breakfast like bacon and eggs. I would have killed for a piece of fucking fried bitchin ass bacon. Unfortunately my sister didn't realize she order 16 pieces of spicy dragon roll so I got my fill of that shit right there. No more, spicy dragon roll, ever. Pause for effect. Couldn't help to think how awesome it would be to bring up in casual introductory conversation "I'm a sushi chef", LAID. I feel like I could say more about the sushi place but moving on, I need to sleep. I'll try it again in a while when i'm actually in the mood for it.

Later my sister's new siamese kitten fell asleep on my head/shoulders today watching planet earth. Cute as fuck. Can't hate on this kitten i feel like, he's the shit.

Cars for today, I left my house to go for a spin in the snow, was only 0 so it was very sloppy. Oh well, Graeme and I headed out to futureshop to grab Forza 4, more on this later. Hit a bunch of neighborhoods, rim lots, roundabouts, decent but way too slow. Now I feel like i'm just describing my day with no subtle humorz or anything, crap ok back to something insightful before I lose you. Fuck... even I'd stop reading this article by now. More car shit i'm thinking right now is maybe slammed s14 wintermode wasn't such a good idea. Know what was a great fucking idea? Rain coating my window, otherwise known at Rain-X-ing. Dat shit cray. New favourite product under $10 that makes life easier. Boom, could have got your parents that for christmas. They would have thanked you and wondered how they could have raised such a astute young man/woman. I hope i'm using that word right.

I've been really into these internet meme's thing, the whole internet-wide-inside-joke thing really appeals to me for some reason. Kind of makes this world seem a lot smaller when people who aren't payed to write jokes write jokes for people which end up being funnier than the jokes that people write for pay. I find myself strikingly familiar with socially awkward penguin... I recently became a fan of insanity wolf, successful blackman never gets old, first world problems have mostly all happened to me. Scumbag Christian: Doesn't understand basic mathematical concepts; knows origin of universe... hahaha.

Anyone else playing Skyrim? Dat shit also cray. Way cray. If you're one of those people that use drugs/alcohol to escape reality and become less self-aware or just wanna do that anyway, play this game, the more you play, the better it gets and the more it consumes you into a different world. If you're gonna waste your time on a videogame that isn't Forza4 or zelda, this game will ,, i don't know how to finish this sentence but it is awesome to leave this planet sometimes.

I forgot where this was going with this but I didn't forget about this.
I really need a more stable pt job right now so I can afford all these cool things I want for my car, and so I can start treating my gf to shit again, I want to publicly thank her for putting up with my broke ass for this past year, I wasn't always this frugal. I used to buy a case of beer quite often, now it's such a special treat. I like it this way actually.
Things I would buy for s14 if I had a better income stream:
- deep dish wheel/hub
- URAS kit
- Better gas
- Make a track-fee only account
- Refinish wheels in bronze
- Better tires
- Hydro e-brake
- Bride lomax
- FMIC kit
- Bigger brakes
Not necessarily in order but that's a general plan for the spring/summer
Signing off i'm done. Off to dream about Drifting, women, and other wonderful things.

My two favorite things

DOUBLE D's!

No...not that kind. Drifting and Dubstep. DUHHHH.

It may not be this dude's footage. Or his song. But he put together a cool montage. And isn't that what life is about? Stealing shit from people with talent, and taking credit where we can?

Big City.

Big City. All Day. In Her Mouth. 

Store something somewhere...

uhhhnnnnn

An obscure number of reasons why having a penis is amazing - Part One

Here are some things I think make having a penis better than not having a penis, in no particular order. I also will refer to it using a different slang word each time.

4. You get to piss in any direction you want.

This one's my favorite. If you have a vagina, you have to squat, and it sprays out like when you put your finger over the hose. It's grossly hilarious, but highly inefficient. If you have a dick, you can piss any direction you want, and it's a solid, strong (usually) stream of superiority. I have literally pissed up. Try that with your vagina (please film it). Also, you can write things in snow, and pee on your buddy's shoe while you're at adjacent urinals. THAT'S ANOTHER THING! Urinals. Specifically, urinal cakes. People without a purple-headed-yogurt-slinger don't ever get to experience the joys of urinal cakes.

Delicious, and you can erode them with your pee.

17. You can put it in stuff.

Anything you like, to be specific. The beauty about having a one-eyed snake is that you can put it wherever you want. It hangs, it swings, and it's flexible. Meaning if you ever have an urge to put it into a random household appliance, you can fucking do it. Try doing that with your labias, ladies. From a practical, every day perspective, this isn't much of a benefit, however having the satisfaction of looking at a toaster and knowing that you can stick your shaft in it, is absolutely priceless.

Sorry honey, it's just burning off my pubic hair from this morning's "random insertion hour"

68. You fuck with it. 

Cocks fuck vaginas. It's never the other way around. The simple fact that one is going inside the other, means that the vagina is always getting fucked. This will never be disputed, and there are no arguments. Why? Cause me and my pork sword fucking said so.

There's not really any pictures that support this point, so instead here's a fat spiderman. 

11. You can do the helicopter.

Thats right, if you have a wang you can spin it 'round and 'round. Like a helicopter. This is more than entertainment, it's male ritual. A celebration of the glory of having a bologna pony. Rumor also has it, if you wanna impress a chick, do the helicopter-dick (that was one word).

119. It's a portable towel rack.

This one comes in handy all the time. Have you ever gotten out of the shower, and not had anywhere to put your towel while you brush your teeth? Why not leave it on you ask? Because I've got a portable towel rack, right here. All I've gotta do is think about whatever celebrity is the hottest that week, and bam - my man-muscle is ready to hold that towel! Try doing that with your vagina (please film it). I don't have a picture for this, google images fails to provide me with a related picture, and frankly I'm sort of grateful.


That's all I've got for now.

Written while listening to this

Fresh Slate

Today was the day. The Stranger went to be melted down. Couldn't let her go to a new home.

I stripped everything aftermarket and a bunch of stock parts too. *STILL FOR SALE YOU BUY NOW*

Ann took some snaps...

Moving on to better things :) New platform :P

Zombie defender!

do want.

Movin' on

Soooo parted out the Stranger. No more 300hp turbo slideways truck goodness :( Incredibly upset about it. Especially since I just did a complete engine rebuild, new tranny, clutch everything. That's life.

Moved on to something still fun but, can fit the family. For now. Spring time we'll see what's up.

Win.89 Bronco II 4wd Eddie Bauer edition.

Very well maintaned. For example... wouldn't pass etest last year. Guy had the heads rebuilt, new gaskets etc etc.. $1800 later it passed. Mwahahahhaa.

BAM!

Stole Graeme's wheels. He's never ever ever ever getting them back.

Look What I Can Do!

It's magic.

Before:







After:














Not perfect, some of the scratches were through the clear completely, but significantly better!

Wake up!

Breaking the silence in the dead of a morning called.. Saturday.

To greener pastures

With me being unable to WORK at WORK I did some work at home. 

FINALLY got my engine crane back and got some professional help.

ZMAN!!!

I kid... not my kid but, WAYNOLD!

Anyways, got the drivetrain out finally. Well what was left of it. Sold some more parts. Wrecked some shit. 

Much fun.

 

BYE!

Goddamnit.

I was driving on the 400 today in the middle lane, when a transport truck in front of me blew a tire, and sent the retread hurdling at my car. I swerved enough to miss most of it, but when I got home I saw that it had still clipped me.





The scratches are down to the primer, so I can't even buff them out. Headlight is loose and the fender looks a bit dented.

All in all, I have no choice but to deal with it. It frustrates me to no end that someone's carelessness has damaged my car, and I am the one left to pay for it.

The trucking industry has suffered greatly over the past decade, and many veteran truck drivers have been forced out of the industry by new young, and often foreign drivers willing to work for almost nothing. I feel for the drivers who are true professionals, as they now have to work even harder to make a living. A true professional driver would have noticed that their tire was close to a blowout, and taken the necessary actions to prevent it.

Hopefully karma finds that driver and gives him a fierce bout of diarrhea and a nasty case of herpes.

I also realize that I stereotyped foreign transport truck drivers as being careless. To the few foreign drivers who are not a part of this stereotype, I apologize.

Lower...

But not low enough. Next year I'm going to run a 40 series tire and lose a lock collar on the fronts.

This right here...

Makes me want a real drift scene here in Ontario. It'll never happen, but fuck you if you tell me i can't dream. Seriously. I'll dragon kick your grandmother.

AWESOMEFEST 2011 : THE FILM from Stephen Brooks on Vimeo.

Hi. I'm Mike.

My name is Mike.

I'm bitter, sarcastic, I find humor in things no one should really ever find humor in, and I am going to write some stuff on this blog.

In past I have:

- Brought a girl home, only to wake up in a pool of her urine, and her sneaking out the back door.

- Urinated on a mini horse while evading police

- Seduced a (female) police officer while in a highly illegal and sure-as-fuck-not-roadworthy car, and got off without a ticket.

- Seduced a (male) police officer while speeding in a completely stock civic, and got a ticket

- Eaten 5 waffles at once without vomitting. (okay, thats a lie.)

So, in closing, when something else exciting happens to me (likely involving urine or seducing police officers) I will be posting it here. I will also be posting it on my personal blog; iammikeross.blogspot.com /shamelessplug

what it means to be a felon

nostalgia.

and tonight: we climbed a crane (ross has the pics), and raided a few undisclosed locations.

Happy Happy

Some hard work, sweat, tears but, no blood *this time*... pays off.

STRANGER RUNS! Real purdy too. Just need to stop my fuel cell from sliding hahaha. Pinched the fuel line when I was cornering too hard. Whoops!

Stay classy... Felons.

Shit happens

If things didn't break, car's wouldn't be fun! Just wish they didn't break sooo often HAHA. This was completely my fault. I ran 20psi on a stock head, it detonated and went kaboom. Knew it, the second it happened. Still drove it for a while afterwards though.

This may have sparked some of the baaaaad AFR's.

That will be replaced by a proper METAL CAP before running truck again.

Today was tear down day. I know this engine inside out now as I've taken it apart a few times. Took me 1.5 hours to get everything from assembled to head off, ready to clean and reassemble.

SOOOO happy the turbo was unharmed. Still like the day I bought it. Even with the compressor surge I was getting. Mwahahaha.

ANNND the heads off.

Incredibly happy I am able to pull the head while engine is in the bay.

Not happy that I have to use my spare because I cracked this one :(

The hockey pucks are holding up great though! Yes, the one looks off center because I could only drill 2 at a time.

Here's the best part. My STEEL Fel-Pro head gasket blown out :) Did a much better job this time then I did the last time this happened.

That's all for now... reassembly happens wednesday or thursday ;) Turning down the boost :( Stayin at 15psi for now I guess.. UNTIL I do some head work on a fresh head.